Monday, September 17, 2012

Happy B'day Lil Sis


She...
She was a tiny thing that came to our life some 20 odd years back.. She was pink in colour with black curly hair big eyes with eyebrows always shot up. God alone knows what she was surprised abt. She made her presence felt with her hi pitch.. err.. no it can’t be called crying.. no not shouting.. not howling.. it was above all.. above 20K dbs. Lucky we were that we got an ultrasonic instrument to kill those flies and mosquitoes. But we did pay the price. Now if u say.. i have any hearing problem root case analysis of the problem will reach her..
Life was ok for me, as she was still a baby. I had my life till I was may be 6. After than sob sob sob.. y mention. She joined school, the very school which was mine now became ours just like my parents became ours. She was exceptionally intelligent as a kid. So intel that i never had to sweat to fool her. She was gifted a electronic watch in 1st std by our aunt. When its battery dried off she thought the watch was damaged and can’t be put to use. So she threw it in our municipality dust bin so that mom won’t find out she damaged her new watch. She used to say that she was dad’s lil girl. Horrible was she used to say dad gave birth to her and as proof she used to point to my dad’s pot belly which she took to be pregnant. Poor thing she waited for delivery of her younger sibling but the day never came.. now its abode of a triplets at least who r never gone come out..
She used to be a good student. Simply because she had nothing else good to do. In school she made my life a hell. She hit a boy with her shoe in LKG right in front of my eyes.  She let go off her first front teeth in LKG again just because she fell while jumping from bench to bench. I the poor thing had to stop her cry else our under construction school then would have fallen like a house of cards. She offered me her Tiffin on a Saturday and told mom I snatched it from her. I got nicely from mom because of this. She got lost once. I searched for her all round the school hysterically sobbing, asking everyone had they seen a small kid in school uniform, getting into the prohibited and dangerous under construction building to check if she was around. After all the trouble dad came to pick me up. I told him she’s lost. He took me home.Where I saw her sit at the door. She thought I was wasting time in school playing so she busy madam in LKG didn’t wait for me but left alone and reached home on her own. All the while I was searching for her. That day I felt like burying her alive 6 ft underground. She had her first worst accident (scars yet reminds the accident) at 3-4 years. She accidently stepped into boiling water, hurt her badly. I and mom rushed her to hospital thanks to our owner aunty who helped us when dad was not around. It was her right.. err left.. err one leg which was full of blisters. Ok before u sympathise with her wait!! After all this the little monster announced to the world that I pushed her into boiling water. Now sympathise with me u all.
She’s the worst person to fight with. So avoid. Well wait.. If u avoid she won’t let go. If she wants to fight with u (read out power u in argument) she’ll follow u and try every possible way to get u into an argument. Win it and sleep satisfied. If she didn’t find anyone she’ll pick up petty fights with kids half her age without any shades of shame. In fact she even managed to fight with our cousin bro.. Who’s good 8-9 years older than her. Poor thing he cried a lot saying he hurt her while madam was walking around the house like she liberated Indian from east India Company. Its next to impossible for getting an apology from her. If u happen to be one who got one then it’s as good as seeing Christ himself. You are blessed.
There was time in her life when her favourite hobby was crying. No not the initial ones. It’s in upper primary school. She used to come from school and find reasons to argue with mom. Finally she’ll sit and cry. It was almost daily 5pm to 5 30pm show at home. We never bothered to check what’s it. Finally she stopped only because of pure boredom. She takes herself and her opinion on everything very seriously. May b just as no one takes them seriously. She believe in her beliefs which to me sound clear stupid. But when me or our parents try to say it’s stupid she’ll look in total disbelief that how can it be stupid it’s her view  and she termed as all stupid instead.
She used to believe a lot in bhoot which was a boon for me. Easy to handle her. “I’ll tell u a bhoot story” is as good as “I’ll feed u rat poison” she’ll run away. But sad part was we used to share a room. If she’s scared she used call me in between my sleep. Lately I got to know I was the bhoot in her dreams and she used to call me to check if I was in my bhoot awatar or anu awtar. Pity me. We used to sleep in first floor. Have a bathroom next to our room. But she’s so scared that she’ll walk all the way to ground floor in dark, wakes up my mom to stay awake till she’s back from bathroom. Then she’ll come back to first floor. I still am not able to figure out what kind of fear is it. She’s scared of cockroach. Yes its true she’s is like hell scared even of lizards. But she has no problem with dead human body.
She kept her bone set in her study room as if it was on exhibition. Our maid one day went to sweep the room. Next we saw her running out screaming. Madam had kept the skull on the table. Maid might have thought she’s well versed in black magic. She didn’t look a doc in any angle then. Now?? Now she has cleared all exams they have redefined how docs look like.
Her crushes are also equally tasteless. The whole Prithviraj craze was too much to handle at home. if he even comes for an ad of something as cheap as grass she’ll point to it and say it’s a product he endorses as it it’s bless to be considered by him. I and Nayana had tough time tolerating her singing romantic songs of his films. Well.. Singing how could I forget this. Those who know the song “hoove hoove “ from H2O please ask her to sing it for u. You’ll hear the never heard version of it. It so happened in high school her class teacher asked everyone to sing compulsory in class. She won’t do anything without enough home work. She got a tape recorded with that song. Originally sung by the K S Chitra. Played it repeatedly and sang along with it. Neighbours thought we are mourning (group crying, howling, screaming out of pain) for some dear one’s departure. Finally on the D day she half sang the song when her classmates started clapping. Which stirred her up.  She voiced “aye!!’ and sang the rest of the song. That was the last time her class teacher asked her to sing.
It can go on like this. But let me not trouble Google guys. So today is b’day of the object in discussion here. Gal wish u a very eventful year ahead. May u b blessed with night and day duties back to back. May u get the chance to attend 15 deliveries at a time. May u get more chance to do embroidery on human skin at causality. God don’t make me the one she get a chance to stitch. She’ll stitch my mouth first and my fingers next.
After posting this here.. I’m absconding. Please don’t file an FIR or missing person complaint. I’m offline for my own good health and long life.